An Idealistic Schoolteacher Flies to Italy to Pursue a Shoe Salesman

Sunday, March 2, 2014

I was going to end the 7 Posts in 7 Days challenge by writing about something serious that's been on my mind. But the Oscars are on, the weather is getting slowly worse and worse outside (going to be a fab Monday commute!) and thinking has become a bit more challenging. So in honor of tonight's movie celebration, I decided to share something that's not at all serious that caught my attention!

I have Comcast cable. Do you? I don't know how other cable providers do this, but I noticed a couple days ago that Comcast has the most hilarious descriptions of movies on TV. Maybe hilarious is not quite the right word... maybe it's more like if you didn't also see the title of the film along with the description would you actually want to watch this? Like these are films we watch. With our free time.

Here are some real descriptions of movies on Comcast cable.


1. A Chinese maiden disguises herself as a man so that she can fight invaders in place of her sickly dad.

2. Rebels face off against an evil empire in a climactic battle for the fate of the galaxy while one of the rebel leaders wrestles with the fact that his father is the head of the brutal regime.

3. A lonely boy befriends a homesick alien stranded on earth and attempts to help him find a way home.

4. A Civil War soldier befriends and becomes a member of the Sioux.

5. Unemployed parapsychologists devise a system for neutralizing ghosts when New York City comes under attack from supernatural demons.

6. The tyrant in a 16th-Century portrait wants to return to life by taking over the body of a little child, the son of the art restorer working on the picture.

7. An idealistic schoolteacher flies to Italy to pursue a shoe salesman whom she believes to be her soul mate.

8. Fact-based tale about the course traveled by Jamaica's bobsled team en route to the 1988 Olympics.

9. A Brooklyn widow, engaged to a mama's boy, falls in love with her fiance's brother.

10. A coming-of-age tale about four 12-year-old boys who hear that there is a dead body in the woods near where they live and proceed to try and find it.

11. During the early days of the French Revolution, an upstanding man imprisoned for stealing a loaf of bread is pursued relentlessly by one single-minded police officer.

Any of these sound like something you'd want to devote 2+ hours to watching? Oh, and they're also all legit films everyone has heard of starring actors who are super famous.


1. Mulan
2. Return of the Jedi
3. ET
4. Dances With Wolves
5. Ghostbusters
6. Ghostbusters II
7. Only You
8. Cool Runnings
9. Moonstruck
10. Stand By Me
11. Les Miserables

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