Love the Skin You're In.

On Saturday I decided that I really needed to actively pursue a skin care regimen. I've always been a twice a day face washer, but I turned 30 last summer, and I really thought I should be taking better care of my skin.

Prior to Saturday, I pretty much used Olay face wash in the shower, whatever came in my ipsy glam bag at night, and Olay moisturizer in the mornings. Sometimes I'd also use it at night if I remembered, but I was pretty lazy about it. The best skin care thing I've got going for me is that I do drink a lot of water. With the exception of a cup of coffee once a day (and wine a couple times a week), I only ever drink water. So at least there's that.

My mom and I were in the Target skin care aisle on Saturday when I announced my intentions to find myself a skin care regimen. I wondered aloud if I should stick with Olay or move brands blah blah, and my mom asked one important question, "Has Olay been good to you?"

Why, yes. Yes they have. I use their moisturizer, my great grandmother used it, my grandmother used it, and my mom uses it. In fact, my grandmother says my great grandmother had the softest skin, right up until she passed away.

So good enough for Grandma Annie, good enough for me. Also, I've used Olay for a long time, and it's never led me astray.

Already at home I had the Olay Complete All-Day Moisturizer (for sensitive skin) and the Olay Foaming Face Wash (also for sensitive skin). I decided to stick with those things. To add to it, I purchased the Olay Regenerist Micro-Sculpting Serum, the Olay Regenerist Luminous Overnight Mask, and the Olay Fresh Effects Deluxe Make-Up Removal Wet Cloths.

At first I was like forget this, this stuff is too pricey -- because I am super cheap, let's be honest. But as my mom pointed out, this is what happens when you start getting older, and having healthy skin is worth the cost. Point taken. I mean, it's my face.

I've been using this stuff since Saturday, and I can't say that I've seen a huge difference, but it's really not about the short-term is it? I can say my face feels really soft and moisturized, so that's good! I might switch and try the Regenerist Brightening Cream Cleanser when my current face wash runs out, but we'll see.

The only skin care product I use that's not Olay is body lotion. My mom got me this for Christmas, and please believe me when I tell you I'll never use another body lotion again. I honestly am not sure I've ever even purchased body lotion before. Doesn't it seem like one of those things that you just always seem to have and you're not sure where you got it? At any rate, like I said I got this for Christmas, and I had to go buy a new thing of it for myself a couple weeks ago because I use it every day. Amazing. It smells like Heaven.

Here is a place to get some Olay coupons to get you started if you'd like to try their products!

Anyways, what skin care products do you like?

(Note: I was in no way compensated by Olay -- or Boots -- for writing this. These opinions are all mine based on using the products myself. If they wanted to send some free stuff my way I wouldn't complain though. :) ) 

The Other Side of the Desk

One thing we don't have a lot of at our school is available substitute teachers. Meaning sometimes everyone just has to pitch in! Our 5th grade teacher's mother recently passed away and her funeral was today. Our middle school science teacher was also out, at camp with our 7th graders. We had a sub who was able to step in for 5th grade in the morning and someone else who was going to come for 5th grade in the afternoon. Unfortunately that sub was unable to make it, and our principal needed someone to sit with the 5th grade for the last hour of the day. Usually at this time I'm teaching 7th grade, but since they were not at school today, I volunteered to take on the 5th grade for the end of the day.

Those kids -- what a delight! So well behaved and polite. What was so weird is that the 5th grade teacher was also my 5th grade teacher. Needless to say, I left the teacher a note, telling her how nice her class is and how much I look forward to having them next year in 6th grade. But, of course, I also had to tell her to please not put me on the clipboard (our discipline system) for sitting at her desk -- and using her computer! It's in inside joke we've had for a while. Not that I ever got in trouble in school, but I got on the clipboard once in 5th grade for talking, and I told this teacher at the beginning of the school year that hearing her say the word "clipboard" still strikes fear in my heart!

This teacher teaches in the same room, at the same desk. It felt so weird to be on that side of the desk in that classroom. I absolutely love this teacher. As I sat in her room, at her desk, and looked around the room, I almost teared up thinking about how funny it is how things work out sometimes. How God must smile when we're 10 years old and in 5th grade, knowing where He'll have us 20 years later when we're 30. Amazing, isn't it?

Love you Mrs. Cole! (I mean ... Patty. I'm still working on it!)

It Began One Day In Summer, About Thirty Years Ago.

As I said in this post, Half Magic was one of my favorite books as a kid. And as I also added in my edit to that post, the book begins by saying:

It began one day in summer, about thirty years ago ... 

And, today, that absolutely describes me. Because today is my 30th birthday.

I was born at 11:22 p.m. on July 19, 1984 at Monongalia
General Hospital in Morgantown, W.Va. This photo
of my mom and me was taken July 20.

Thirty. That is the age that, when you are young, sounds so old. You can't imagine being thirty. I mean ... thirty, right? Isn't that the age when your skin begins to wrinkle up and you automatically start wearing mom jeans? Or is thirty when you start getting the senior discount and your life is pretty much just over?

Even though we all seem to think those things when we're in our teens, the truth is thirty really doesn't seem that old. And also, I don't feel thirty. Not that I don't have a couple of wrinkles, but in my heart, I just really don't feel that old. I guess I feel like I'm 17, maybe, or 22. I don't really know, but I know I don't feel 30. I feel like people who are thirty have things like homes and mortgages and investment portfolios. I have exactly zero of those things.

I can honestly say that if you would have asked me at 18 what I'd be doing at 30, the answer would have been -- not this. Part of me thinks 18-year-old Anna is giving 30-year-old Anna the eyes wide, blank stare while trying to decide if she should just end it now. Haha. Good thing 18-year-old Anna is no longer in charge.

My mom and me this year. Looking about the same. :)

One of the biggest things I've struggled with about this whole going back to school to be a teacher thing is am I too old? At an age when most people have established careers and families and have things like, well, homes, mortgages and investment portfolios, I am beginning again. Not only am I starting school to "officially" learn to be a teacher, but in just a couple of weeks I will actually be a teacher. In essence, my life is starting over at 30, and I wondered for a while if I should be disappointed in myself. And for a time, as excited as I was, I was also really worried and scared.

But then I realized something -- I remembered someone else I knew who had begun his teaching career at age 30. Before that time, not much had been written or said about his accomplishments, but it was only when he turned 30 that he began to teach and carry out God's mission for his life.

I am, of course, referring to Jesus. Now, please do not think I am COMPARING myself to Jesus because, seriously? But since He is the person after whom we should model our lives, it comforted my heart to remember when he truly started His life's work -- 30.

And if it's good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for me. :)

And, as the last chapter of Half Magic is entitled, how it began again ...

The Magic of Beginnings.

Well friends, I have some BIG news!

I am a teacher!!!

No, I don't mean I am in school to be a teacher (although I am) or that I have a teacher heart (I do), but I am a real and actual employed teacher.

I think the next verse says, "Not even you." Haha.

Let me back up. For those of you who read this blog, you might remember that earlier in the summer I published a post on how I felt (feel) God is calling me to be a teacher, and I decided to answer that call. I had my perfect plan in place: for two years I'd attend school at Marshall full-time, while working as a graduate assistant in the MU Rec Center (thank you Michele!) and also at my current part-time job with the Center for Christian Business Ethics Today (thank you Cindy!). Then, in two years, I'd be looking for a job teaching middle or high school social studies or civics.

Perfect, right?

I thought so too. Until God told me that that actually wasn't His timeline, it was Anna's.

Early last week, the interim principal and the new principal at Our Lady of Fatima Catholic School, which is the parish school where I go to church, mentioned to my mom that they were in need of a middle school language arts teacher, and they wanted to know if she thought I'd be interested. My mom was like, "Uhhh, you do know she wants to be a teacher, she's not a teacher, right?" They knew. It's important to know that, in this diocese, teachers at a Catholic school can teach, as long as they are actively enrolled in a certificate or degree-seeking teaching program, which I am.

Apparently word had gotten around that I was in school, having felt called by God to teach. My 5th grade teacher, who still teaches 5th grade at Fatima, and whom I LOVED, mentioned to the principals that they might want to ask me if I'd be interested. COMPLIMENT OF A LIFETIME, right?!

So mom called me and related the news. To which my reply was something like, "This is not how I saw my day going!" Haha. So I sat down with the principals and talked with them about what I've been doing the past few years and about my calling to be a teacher. Their energy and excitement made me even more energetic and excited. They gave me a few days to think about it, and think I did.

As I mentioned before, I had my tidy little two-year plan in place. My plan was to look for a teaching job in two years, when I was done with school. My plan was to work as a GA at the Rec Center. But, as I said in this post, I realized that's an awful lot of my, my, my. And things usually work out better in my life when I follow God's will and not Anna's.

Mostly I was worried that I couldn't do it, that I wouldn't know enough or that I would fail. But I realized that those worries (as most are) were all based in one thing -- fear. And fear is NEVER a reason to do -- or not do -- something.

The thing I kept coming back to is that God is calling me to be a teacher, so I need to be a teacher. Even if I thought it was two years from now, and God is saying, "No, now." God is calling me to get into His school and teach His children to love reading, writing and Him. And how do you say no to that? 

For so many things in my life, I feel as though God has always asked me to wait, wait, wait. Wait and pray. And this may really be the first time that He has asked me to hurry up. :) And it's really a wonderful lesson in faith. I am finally understanding that faith is not believing that God could do something, it is wholeheartedly believing that He WOULD. Following God's will can be scary. It's giving up on your own life plan, on what you thought would be best for you. But if I feel God is calling me to do this, and I say yes to him, then he won't leave me to do this alone. And, as Amy once insightfully said on her blog, God doesn't look at your ability as much as your availability. And I'm available. :)

My parents were (are) very supportive, and on Friday I officially accepted the job. :) I sign my contract tomorrow (eep!) and go back to school for meetings and training August 4. School starts August 7! Yikes, so soon! I am so fortunate to begin my teaching career at such a loving school. The principal is awesome, and so are the other teachers. I have had so many teachers offer to help me in any way I need, and man do I plan to take them up on those offers!

Please pray for me. Pray that God turns me into what the kids need. That I find the words and actions to show them God loves them, that they are each so special and loved, and also that they grow to love books and writing and all the wonderful things we'll learn this year. Pray for the kids too. Haha. :)

A teacher. Thy will be done.

And If Life is a Game, Aren't We On the Same Team?

I mean really, right? I'm on your team, be on my team.

I love Kid President. Okay, who doesn't? I actually had the privilege of sharing his videos with someone for the first time yesterday. There is really nothing else like the joy of bringing Kid President to a new fan. The thing is, this world needs more Kid President.

It's kind of amazing that we, as adults, need a 10-year-old kid to remind us what's really important. You know what adults do? Yell. Yell and argue. Argue and yell. Work. Talk about how tired they are. Talk about how they don't want to go to work. Talk about their weight. Passively aggressively argue about politics on Facebook. Forget about their friends' birthdays. Tell everyone to hurry up. Get an attitude with the check out girl at Kroger. Complain about the water bill and the rising cost of gas.

Shew, boy, that sounds like a thrilling way to live life.

Right?

Um, no.

This time of year, summertime, when the living is easy -- or maybe easier since at least you're not outside in -18 degrees driving through 6" of snow to work -- is the time of year when you really realize we're adults ... and we are BORING.

As Kid President says, The world needs you to stop being boring. Yeah, you. Boring is easy. Everybody can be boring.

Remember when you were a kid and it was the first day of summer vacation and it was still light at 9 p.m. and you stayed outside playing flashlight tag till all hours? Or the feeling of cracking open a fresh Nancy Drew mystery from the library curled up in your windowseat. How excited you got when your mom got you a Happy Meal. Or staying up to watch Snick? Going to the movies when the newest Disney animated movie came out and seeing a new princess you could be. Catching fireflies or spotting a turtle in your backyard.

When did our lives become only about doing laundry and being tired? We've heard the phrase "work hard, play hard," but it seems we all got stuck on "work hard." We got stuck on "work hard, then go home and watch TV on your couch till bedtime, then get up and do it all over again."

The thing is, does that make you happy? It does not make me happy. So maybe let's stop talking about the upcoming election ("upcoming") and go blow up a balloon. Who's with me?

Some words of wisdom from our sage, KP:

- But what if there really were two roads? I'd want to be on the one that leads to awesome.

- What if Michael Jordan would have quit? He never would have made Space Jam. And I love Space Jam.

- What will you create to make the world awesome? Nothing if you keep sitting there.

- We can cry about it, or we can dance about it.

- Here's a surprise corn dog I got you because you're my friend.

- Before you say something about the barbecue sauce on someone else's shirt, take a look at the barbecue  sauce on your own shirt.

- "I don't know" ... I know a lot of people who need to say that.

- My sports team is not always the best sports team. It takes a big man to say that.

- I disagree with you, but I still like you as a person. Because you are a human being. (Sounds familiar.)

- If you can't think of something nice to say, you're not thinking hard enough.

- A title doesn't make you more important.

- Some days your kite will fly high, some days it will get stuck in a tree.

- There's plenty of reasons to dance, you just gotta look for them.

- The biggest mess up? Not forgiving each other's mess ups.

- Amazing things will happen every day.

- You're made from love to be loved to spread love. Even if hate has a bullhorn, love is louder.

Two Dimes and a Nickel. (Get it? Change.)

A couple of months ago I wrote this post about allowing people to change. Allowing people to grow and improve without reminding them of the shortcomings they used to have and mistakes they've made.

And there's a very important sister post to that piece and it's this: allowing yourself to change.

I think that we all have things in our past we wish we hadn't done (or failed to do). If you've never made mistakes or said or done something you regret, I wish I knew your secret. I think most of us also have personality traits that we don't like. I'll go first: I am highly critical, I am uptight, I can be judgmental and I'm demanding. Yikes. That's hard to admit. The thing is, I am critical and demanding of others, but if I'm honest with myself I realize that I turn those things mostly on myself. That finger is always, always, always pointing in. I am also capable of laying a guilt trip on myself so thick that I can't see my hand in front of my face, if you know what I mean. And guilt is what is inevitably the outcome if I don't live up to my own judgmental, critical, demanding standards.

The biggest problem is, guilt is a constant companion. Just when you start feeling good about yourself, or feeling like you've been on a road of good choices and actions, guilt over past actions is enough to pull you down and make you feel like you're a horrible person. It's that voice that says, as soon as someone compliments you or thanks you for something kind you've done, "If they only knew the kind of person I really am, they wouldn't think I'm so great."

The thing is -- as I said before, we have to allow people to change. But it's so important that we let ourselves change too. Just because you did something in the past or were someone in the past, doesn't mean that you are or have to be that person today too. Our lives are composed of our actions every day -- the things we choose to say and do every day. It's important that we recognize the hard work we've done to change things we don't like about ourselves and to continue to move forward to the person we really want to be and the life we really want to have.

Past behavior may sometimes be an indicator of who someone is. But really, I think it's more of a comparison to show us how far we've come.

For the People I Know Who Feel the Same Way.

Recently (and by recently I suppose I mean since the advent of the internet) there have been lists of things going around the web. Lists like 14 Things I Wish I Knew Before College, 10 Things I Wish I Knew Before My First Full-Time Job and 25 Things I Wish I Knew and Did Before I Turned 25. There is always some value to these lists, and overall I enjoy reading them. I have even learned a thing or two from just such a list before.

But there's one thing about some of these lists that really bugs me.

One making its way around the world wide web right now is called What I Know Now at 29. I clicked on it because, hey, I'm 29 (at least for a couple more weeks), let's see if I know this stuff too. There were a lot of things on this list I agreed with and thought were great statements, such as

3. If you are lucky, your mom and dad will still be around. If you are really lucky, you will find yourself closer to them than ever before. If you are the luckiest of all, they will be the two most precious people in your life.

and

20. I have come to realize that most of the time, people are just doing the best they can. That might not be the best I can or the best I would like them to do, but it's the best they can do. Patience really is a virtue.

But there's always one on almost every list it seems that says something like the following:

5. Eventually, the most fun nights will be the ones with your loved ones in PJs, or at home with friends and family, a bottle of wine and maybe even their baby.

This is actually one of the less innocuous-sounding ones, and I do understand she said "friends" and family, but it's the most current example I came across. Here's the thing -- there are probably a lot of 29-year-olds (and 30-year-olds, and 35-year-olds, etc.) who would love nothing more than to spend their Saturday evenings at home with their loved ones or baby. But unfortunately, some of us have only ourselves to spend Saturday nights with if all we do is stay home. Some of us only have friends with kids or families or significant others, and they're not about drinking wine at our houses on Saturday nights. So as overjoyed as we'd be to skip the bar scene and stay home with our loved ones, we're not able to.

Sometimes what you saw in your head 10 years ago is not at all what your life looks like now. And if that's your reality it's okay to be sad about that for a little while. There might always be some grieving for the life you thought you'd have, but the important thing is not to grieve eternally, but to realize what is awesome about the life you do have. And if you got married at 23 and have two kids and your life looks an awful lot like you thought it would at your current age, then I am so happy for you, but I ask you to dig deep for some empathy and consider what it might be like to have the COMPLETELY opposite experience and wonder why God has left you out.

Both experiences are valid and have meaning.

And that's what I know now, at 29.

Clean Teeth and the Smell of Library Books

It's obvious that a lot of who we are and what we do comes from our parents. A lot of times what religion we are (or aren't), what time we eat dinner and our senses of humor come from our parents.

But did you ever think about the other things? The littler things I mean.

My parents always made sure that we saw doctors regularly. Once a year check up with our pediatrician, and twice a year cleanings from our dentist. You could set your yearly calendar based on those truths. I went to the dentist today because my parents hammered in me the importance of dental health. I was a little (okay a lot) late on this appointment, and I have been feeling super guilty about it like I've been letting my parents down. Haha. Also I LOVE the dentist. LOVE. I know most people hate to go, but overall, I love it. My teeth feel so squeaky clean when I leave!

Another thing my mom encouraged in me from before I was born was a love of reading. I talked about it in detail here, but what I have been thinking about a lot lately is how we spent our summers at the public library with my mom. As my grandmother said the other day, I really believe you can travel the world if you love to read books. So true! I was at the library in Morgantown the other day with my grandma, Aunt Elizabeth and 8-year-old cousin Katie. We were looking in the children's section with her, and I saw a solid shelf of some very old friends, the Boxcar Children (although when I said it out loud it came out like ohhhhh the Boxcarrrr ChildRENNNNNN)! Henry, Jessie, Violet and Benny occupied a lot of my time growing up. It reminded me of some other lifelong friends like Ramona, Kristy, Nancy and Jane. When we got back to my grandparents' house Katie started reading me one of her books, and in the middle of reading she paused and sniffed her book. She didn't have to say another word, I knew exactly what she was feeling, but she said, "I love the smell of library books." AMEN!

So today after the dentist, I went to the library. I looked around at the stacks and stacks and stacks of books. But really, it's looking at stacks and stacks of adventures. I picked out four books, two by authors I'd read before and two to take a chance on. I'm so excited! And maybe when I return these, I'll check out Half Magic. For old times' sake.

Edit: I was looking inside Half Magic as you can do on Amazon, and I had forgotten what the first line of the book is. Check this out: "It began one day in summer, about thirty years ago ..." Kind of like me. :) Perfect, right? 

Big News.

Since college I've held many jobs in many fields: preschool teacher overseas, how-to website, professional development for government employees, development at an art museum and managing editor at a magazine. I have met at least one wonderful, lasting friend at each one of these jobs, and for that I thank God. I have always envied people (like my dear friend Ashley) who always knew what they wanted to do as a career from a young age. For me, it's been more like trial and error -- weeding out what I don't like. 

A couple of years ago, while working at the museum, I realized that although I loved my workplace and the people I worked with, I was not cut out to be a professional fundraiser. At that time, I started evaluating my strengths and weaknesses, my interests and what I saw myself doing long-term. It was at that time that I start investigating the possibility of being a teacher, and even went down to Marshall University to speak with their education school about their Master's in Teaching program, which is a program designed for people like me who have degrees in something that's not education to help them become teachers. Around that same time, this job opening at the magazine came across my desk (literally) and, as working for a magazine had been a goal of  mine since high school, I decided I would regret it if I didn't throw my hat in the ring. As you know, I was hired for that job. Unfortunately, for many reasons, it became very clear, especially over the past couple of months, that that particular workplace was not the one for me, although I love writing and journalism.  

Me and one of the people who have given me so much courage, Mel. 

And, even more importantly, in the past several months I have felt a real calling from God to be a teacher. I have always loved taking care of kids and feel I'm good with them; I also do not think I'm cut out to be behind a desk for 8+ hours a day. I have always loved school and teaching preschool and ballet, and some of my favorite people are teachers. (Jen, Uncle Bobby, Uncle Marc, Aunt Caroyl, Uncle Paul, Danny, Katie.) I also think I need a career where I feel like I'm making a direct positive difference in someone else's life.

With that, I wanted to tell you all that, beginning part-time this summer and full-time in the fall, I am returning to school (again!) to pursue a Master's in Teaching from Marshall University. It should take two years, and when I leave school and pass the appropriate exams, I will be certified to teach Social Studies for grades 5 through Adult and Journalism to grades 9 through adult. God willing, exactly two years from now I will be looking for a job as a teacher. I have been told that statistics show many teachers will be retiring in the next year or two and it will be a great time to be looking for a teaching job. 

God has opened so many doors for me in this pursuit. In order to go back full-time I would not be able to also work full-time, and I was worried about finding a part-time job and/or a graduate assistantship to support  myself. Out of nowhere, a girl I had class with this past semester offered me a part-time job working with her. Additionally, although all the GA jobs were gone, I found out that there actually was ONE left -- a marketing job for which I'm qualified and have the appropriate degree. I do not have it for sure yet, but the prospects look very good. My last day at the magazine was today, and I also began my new part-time job June 2. Hopefully begin my GA in August. One of my journalism teachers also said he would like to talk to the dean about me teaching a journalism class at Marshall in the fall, which is also very exciting. 

Perhaps even more tellingly, I believe this plan was actually put into motion many years ago. When I first entered undergrad, it was as a Mass Communications major and a Political Science minor. In the first semester of my sophomore year I was taking my second political science class with a professor I loved and I started thinking about changing my major, with designs of working on the hill. So I talked to my professor, who agreed to advise me, and switched majors. But, although I loved all my poli sci classes at Shepherd, I realized that a legislative life wasn't for me, and I never really knew what I'd do with the poli sci degree. I actually have never had a job that used it directly. Fast forward to now ... this Master's in Teaching program works with your undergrad degree to certify you to teach something: English, social studies, math, science. Because of my political science degree and liberal arts education, I have most of the content classes I need to be certified to teach anything in the social studies field. Had I stuck with Mass Comm and still wanted to be a teacher now, I'd have to start all over again working toward an undergraduate degree in education. So I really think God had his hand in this years ago. 

Mom, Katie and me swinging on the day of my last ballet show.

Unfortunately, after months of thought, I also concluded that it was in the best interest of the dance studio for me to resign my position as director. I love my students and parents, I love dancing and I love our mission, but with a full-time course load and at least two or three part-time jobs I was not going to be able to give my students what they deserve, and it would be selfish for me to continue. Luckily, three teachers stepped up to take on the administrative duties so the studio's work will continue. It was a heartbreaking decision, but my students and their parents have also been very understanding and supportive, for which I am eternally grateful. 

Mel and I after the last show we directed.

I turn 30 this summer, and part of me is freaked out that I'm starting a whole new career (even though I know 30 is by no means "old"!). But I never want to make a decision -- or not make one -- because of fear. And, as my mom says, I will be 32 in 2 years whether I pursue this degree or not, so would I rather be 32 working at a job I don't like or 32 and a teacher. I am very fortunate to have the parents I have who support my dreams and goals, whatever they are and however old I am when I have them. 

I am really energized to become a teacher and I feel like I'm really following God's will for my life. Thank you all for your support and prayers! 

This post is one in a series on Turning Thirty. 

4 Years. 30 Credits. 1 Degree.

About this time four years ago, I had just made the decision to apply to graduate school. I had moved back to my hometown about seven months prior and had not been able to find a full-time career-type job. I was working at Macy's to make money, but I decided that I needed to do something to propel my life forward. I talked to my parents and decided to apply for graduate school at Marshall University to pursue a Master of Arts in Journalism. As my mom said, "You're going to be 30 in four years whether you pursue this degree or not." Great point.

One evening I submitted my online application and signed up to take the GRE, in hopes of an August 2010 start date. The very next morning (and I mean THE VERY NEXT) I heard from the Huntington Museum of Art (where my friend Margaret Mary is the director) inviting me to come in to interview for a position, and I began working at HMA two weeks later. 

I decided to also continue to pursue graduate school because I HAD PAID $40 TO APPLY GOSH DARN IT and also paid for the GRE. :) Anna Lafferre is not trying to waste $40, just saying. :) I knew that I couldn't work full-time (and teach ballet) and go to school full-time also, so I decided I'd go part-time. I was able to sign up for six credits, or two classes, that first semester because one of them was online. I walked into my classroom at Marshall University one Monday night in August, after my sister Erin had had to tell me where to find my building and where to park. (What can I say? Shepherd was a smaller campus!) I hadn't been to school in four years. I had no idea what to expect, and, honestly, I was pretty much in tears walking out that first night because I didn't think I could do it. But, I kept going because, well, you know, $40. 

After that first semester of six credits, I took three credits the following spring, then three that summer. The subsequent years I took three credits - or one class - in the fall and in the spring. Slowly but surely, all of the people I knew graduated and moved on because it is a two-year, 30-credit program. But I kept going. One class at a time. History, Theory, Research Methods, PR Campaigns, Magazine Writing. One class a semester. 

For four years. Four years for 30 credits. 

My graduating class! Me, Laura, Lee and Cindy. Also, I'm just now noticing it looks like I'm giving a thumbs up. I'm not. I was holding my phone and name tag in my hand.

And today was my graduation day. 

After four years of working full-time (and for the past two years, two full-time jobs) and going to school I was finally able to walk across the stage and accept my diploma (well, the representative of my diploma, no idea when the real one is coming) while my mom and dad watched. I actually hadn't been planning to walk at graduation since my family has been to a LOT of graduations over the years, but on Monday night when I found out I passed my comprehensive exam and would be graduating, I decided I really wanted to. Even though I had missed the deadline, my parents encouraged me to find out if it might still be possible for me to walk at commencement, and I found out they would let me. 

Laura, me and Cindy after we officially graduated! 

I got my cap and gown and hood (most expensive outfit I ever purchased!) on Monday at lunchtime, and today was the big day. My sisters live out of town, one of my brothers was out of town and my other brother had to work (he's a paramedic), so it ended up being only my parents were able to come. I was very glad to have them there, although it was odd to look up and see only two Lafferres and not six! 

After the event, we took a few photos (sadly, the ones of my dad and me and my mom and me are on my dad's phone and currently not in my possession) and then we wandered around an antique shop for a few minutes before we had dinner at a super nice restaurant, Savannah's, with my friend Sarah. I received my promised gnocchi and bread pudding, and it was wonderful.

Me and my professor, Dr. Rabe.

What a great day!

I honestly still can't believe it's over. 

I suppose the life lesson here is ... you can do it. As cliche as it sounds, if you have a dream and wanting to go back to school is part of that, you can do it. It might take you longer than everyone else, and you might be older than everyone else, but you can do it.

As I said on Facebook the other day, this incredibly generous gift from Sarah just dethroned whatever it was that was my nicest possession until this time. 

Also, like my dear friends told me, it's okay to be proud of yourself. It's okay to want to celebrate your accomplishment because you worked hard. 

Especially if that thing was #56 on your list of things to do before you die. And you finally -- finally -- got to cross it off. 

I have so many people to thank that helped me so much, but more than anyone I need to thank my mom and dad. Without them, I couldn't have paid for school or even thought that I'd be able to do it, especially when I was exhausted and still had a 15 page paper to write or really thought I had failed my comprehensive exams. They also rearranged their weekends with about five days notice to sit through (yet another) graduation and took pictures and took me to the world's nicest dinner. They even bought me a bottle of champagne to celebrate. Because they are the world's best parents. 

I really love this card.

And, finally, a shout out to God, to whom I said many, many, many, many prayers and also to the Venerable Fulton J. Sheen and St. Joseph of Cupertino, both of whom I asked for prayers of intercession.

This post is one in a series on Turning Thirty. 

Mel and Story

You know what's so awesome? When God speaks through someone else to tell you something you have to hear.

Tonight I was scrolling around on Facebook as I do on Thursday nights in between blog reading and TV watching, and I saw something that literally made part of my soul die a little. Before I show it to you, I'm going to post this pic I took of a rainbow the other day because I can't have what I'm about to show you be the thumbnail of this post.

Okay, now that we're safe, here's what stabbed my heart:

Things have been not so great lately and I'm really good about letting bad things get into my head and take root, making everything look grim and hopeless.

I wanted to wash that meme from my brain, but I just could not. But a little while after I saw it, my BFF Melissa posted this on my Facebook wall:

The door about to be opened is not nearly as important as the story that led you to that door. 

Isn't that so beautiful? Mel was at a worship service this evening and heard that and said that she immediately thought of me when she heard it. I think God told her to remember it and let me know. Because I really needed to hear it.

Also, if you capitalized the "s" in "story" and made it Story, that sentence would take on an even better and more beautiful meaning.


This post is part of a series on Turning 30. To see the other posts in the series, go here, here and here. 

Listening to People Smarter Than You is a Really Good Idea

Have you ever made a decision you were really happy with and felt feelings of happiness, excitement and hope? And then three weeks later, thinking about the same decision, you suddenly started feeling feelings of confusion, fear and defeat?

Yeah ... that's not because you made the wrong decision. It's spiritual warfare.

I made a decision a couple months ago I was really happy with and was looking forward to the future. I had prayed a lot about it and really felt like God was calling me and opening doors for me. But in the last several weeks, I've suddenly felt like I made the wrong decision, I'm confused, I feel hopeless and scared. I was telling my friend Melissa about this today. Telling her I think maybe I've made the wrong decision and maybe I'm just a loser and I'm lazy and stupid and make bad decisions.

Melissa was like ... Anna, do you know what that is? That is satan getting in your head and pulling you away from what you are supposed to be doing, which is following God's path. The closer you get to God's path, the more that satan is going to work to pull you away from it.

Of course. Of course.

I believe that spiritual warfare is a really real thing. If you're not walking anywhere near God's path, then satan really doesn't have much work to do on you. But if you're really following it, seeking His will, then you become satan's #1 project.

I told Melissa that if my doctor who saw me about six weeks ago when I was telling him my plans and he said he could tell how excited, hopeful and raring to go I was saw me today he'd be like ... what happened?

Spiritual warfare. THAT is what's happening. Melissa said, and I agree, that if God opens a bunch of doors for you and you're praying and actively seeking His will, then you aren't making a mistake. Happiness, joy and hope are from the Lord. Confusion, despair and hopelessness are from the devil. And I'm a terrible case - or an easy one for the devil - because I'm spiritually weak and also of weak mind. I can easily take one setback and turn it into the Downfall Of My Whole Life. You know what I mean?

Melissa advised that now is the time to draw closer to God than ever. Pray hard and frequently, read the Word, read devotionals, etc. When you're under attack, then you need to put on the armor of God.

Guys ... it's a real thing. Even as I'm sitting here, I'm like -- well, maybe I'm wrong, maybe this isn't spiritual warfare, maybe I've made too many mistakes in my life and I don't deserve to be happy.

.............................................

It's a real thing. And it's scary.

Weirdly, Melissa brought me a bracelet today that she said she found last night and knew she had to get for me. It is AWESOME.

She said she thought it was really pretty, but she flipped one of the charms over and saw that it says "Celebrate Your Path." She said when she saw that she thought of me. I put it on right away and I so deeply love it.

And when I got home, I looked more closely and I saw what the back of another charm said:

Love This Life.

Guys ... if you think God is calling you to do something and you feel peace and joy and are seeing doors opened, but the next thing you know you're confused and upset and hopeless ... that's not God. And I need that reminder every day and probably more than anyone.


This post is one in a series on Turning 30. See other posts in the series here and here. 

I've Never Been a Great Runner

"Let us run with endurance the race God has set before us ... " - Hebrews 12:1

This has always been one of my favorite Bible verses. I always thought the "run with endurance" part was the most important part of that verse, but I realized that that's not true. The most important part of that verse is "... has set before us."

Let me explain.

This would be a totally different verse if St. Paul had said "... has set before the world" or "... has set before all of us together." But he didn't. He said "has set before US." Meaning, if he was talking to you one-on-one he'd say "Run with endurance the race God has set before YOU."

And therein lies the lightbulb moment.

I mentioned yesterday that this life is not the life I thought I'd have at 30 if you'd have asked me 10 years ago. I'm not exactly sure what I thought 30 would look like, but it's a pretty safe bet I thought my life would look pretty similar to Amy's -- stay-at-home mom, three kids (two adopted), volunteers, does projects with her kids, gardens. But my life looks so far from that it couldn't be any farther. And sometimes that makes me very sad, and, like I said yesterday, there is grief associated with that. But then I realized that that life is Amy's race. And this life is Anna's. Amy is running the race that God set before her, and I need to run the race that God set before me. Even if I don't understand it. Even if Amy's race looks so lovely to me, I know it involves more big mountains than I could possibly be aware of, just like mine involves mountains too. And even if her life - or anyone's life - was perfect, it still is not the race God set before me.

I think one of the very hardest parts of life is running our own race and not comparing our lives to others. I will be the first person to admit I am so guilty of that. I read a quote recently that said if we put all our problems in a pile with everyone else's, we'd probably look at all of them and grab our own back.

Right now Anna's race is looking pretty tough. I've known for a while that this semester was going to be tough tough tough. Along with work and the dance studio, I am taking a Media Law and Ethics class that requires a lot (A LOT) of writing and - the big one - my comprehensive exam that determines if I'll get my Master's Degree or not is scheduled for April 26. My life right now involves going to work, going to dance, going to school, doing homework and studying. And that is pretty much it. And, as I'm sure you can imagine, the WORRY I have about this exam can be overwhelming.

But I keep reminding myself that this is the race God has set before me, and I'm called to run it with endurance. Not walk it with whining or shuffle it with complaining. Right?


This post is the second in a series on Turning 30. To see the first post, click here. 

Thirty and Flirty and Thriv-- Nope, Just Thirty.

After I posted about the Listography book two days ago, it occurred to me that it might be fun to do a series of posts on Turning 30.

My birthday is July 19 and, yes, I'll be 30. Age has never really been a big thing for me; if people ask me how old I am I'm glad to tell them. As my dad says "it's better than the alternative." True. I mean ... the reality is I'm 29 and I'll be 30 in July.

The thing is, however, that turning 30 is a big deal even if I don't have a "problem" with it. It seems that with those two numbers in that order comes the absolute fact that I'm not a kid anymore or even a "young adult." Seriously, these surveys cut you off at being young after 29. Sheesh! If you would have asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be when I was 30, the life I'm living now looks absolutely nothing like that picture would. Not. at. all. And with that comes a little bit of grief I think. There might always be some grieving for the life you thought you'd have, but the important thing is not to grieve eternally, but to realize what is awesome about the life you do have. And I have a lot of things about which to feel awesome.

Jennifer Garner made it look so easy.
(via)

No matter what age you are, you always have the thought of "If I'd known then what I know now ..." If you're 18 you want to talk to your freshman year in high school self, your 21-year-old self wants to talk to your 18-year-old self, 25 would love to talk to 21 and 29 to 25. It's just a universal truth it seems. But what is also universal is that if you'd have known then what you know now, you probably wouldn't have listened to yourself. Older generations always want to tell younger generations about their mistakes and what they think they should do, but no one ever listens.

But what if we did listen?

I happened to catch a blog post tonight on Facebook that cemented my idea about doing a series of posts on Turning 30. It's called "10 Life Lessons to Excel in your 30s." Pretty straightforward and has my name allllll over it. The author asked previously on his blog for his readers 37 and older to email him with the advice they'd give their 30-year-old selves. He says he received over 600 responses, but was floored with how consistent the themes of the advice were. So similar, in fact, that he was able to take those 600 responses and turn them into 10 pieces of advice. Pretty amazing and sounds like something that's probably worth taking another look at. (I know, I know, don't end a sentence with a preposition, but this one baffled me. "... sounds like something at which it's probably worth taking another look" just sounds pompous and lame.) 

They are all really good pieces of advice, but my favorite is perhaps number 6:

6. Don't be afraid of taking risks. You can still change. 

Multiple readers related making major career changes in their 30s and being better off for doing so. One left a lucrative job as a military engineer to become a teacher. Twenty years later, he called it one of the best decisions of his life. 

“While by age 30 most feel they should have their career dialed in, it is never too late to reset. The individuals that I have seen with the biggest regrets during this decade are those that stay in something that they know is not right. It is such an easy decade to have the days turn to weeks to years, only to wake up at 40 with a mid-life crisis for not taking action on a problem they were aware of 10 years prior but failed to act.”

I've said this on my blog before, and I actually said it to someone again today -- I'm scared of a lot of things and definitely anxious about change. But the only thing that scares me more is the thought that I'll wake up when I'm 40 and wish I had done something I hadn't.

Even if you're not turning 30, I think that is still good advice for everyone -- you can still change.


This post is the first in a series on Turning 30. To read some previous posts that also go along with this topic, visit here, here and here. Look for upcoming posts in the series.