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My Foot Might Have Typhoid. Or SARS.

Monday, May 28, 2012

I wanted to go to the pool
I felt it would be very cool
Until my foot found gum
Already chewed by one
And then I felt much like a fool.






There are some vom-inducing memories even the best of chlorine and hand sanitizer can't fix.

Couch, Meet Butt

Sunday, May 27, 2012

I don't know about you, but there are a few movies that if I'm flipping channels and see them on, that's it, I'm stopping and I am DONE FOR THE DAY. Butt on the couch. Snacks in hand. Don't call me, I'll call you.

These aren't even my favorite movies, but for whatever reason, if I see them on TV I just have to watch.

The first is Air Force One. Harrison Ford as the POTUS who's on Air Force One when it gets hijacked? Not only is this the first R rated movie I ever saw (Scandalous. And way cool.) but it is AWESOME. When Harrison Ford says, as only Harrison Ford can, "Get off my plane" -- makes me think that I, too, could be President. And save the United States from the hands of rogue Russian plane hijackers. If need be.

I also must watch, in its entirety, Independence Day. This time Bill Pullman is President. An old family favorite, (growing up, my dad thought family movie night must include a viewing of either Independence Day, Apollo 13 or Twister. And that's it.) Independence Day features Will Smith fighting aliens (not to be confused with Men in Black I, II or III in which Will Smith also fights aliens). When Bill Pullman says, as only Bill Pullman can, "Let's nuke the bastards" -- makes me think that I, too, could be President. And save the United States from the hands of Earth-destroying aliens. If need be.

Lastly, and most importantly, I cannot move from the couch if any of the Star Wars movies are on. A New Hope, Empire Strikes Back or Return of the Jedi. Preferably all three. This time no one is President, but (and if you need me to explain this to you, how sad) there is an evil emperor. If I'm at home on a Saturday with nothing to do (or, say, on a Sunday night of a holiday weekend with nothing to do, for argument's sake) nothing grinds my gears more than seeing Spike TV showing Empire Strikes Back NOT FOLLOWED BY Return of the Jedi. How will I ever know what happened?!? Star Wars is meant to be viewed as a marathon. Obviously. Luckily (for them) I got home in time to see most of Empire Strikes Back and all of Return of the Jedi. Today. In fact, right now. Currently we're on the forest moon of Endor about to disarm the Death Star. Unless you're Luke in which case it's about to get real real with a green light saber and an asthmatic father. Makes me think that I, too, could be a Jedi. And really who wouldn't want to be.

These are dogs dressed as Ewoks. I have no photo credit for this photo, but for what it's worth -- I am desperate to be friends with these people. Whoever they are. I can't stop laughing at this photo.



Hi my name is Snickers...

Friday, May 25, 2012

...and I'm addicted to bananas.


Hi Snickers. 


Wild and Wonderful

Love my state. Love the drive up I-79 in spring. Excuse the bug guts on the windshield.

7 Quick Takes

There is a female blogger I love, Jen at Conversion Diary, who hosts 7 Quick Takes every Friday. I love it because sometimes I have very little to say about  many different things, and this totally feeds my need to make everyone read my tornado of thoughts!

1. It's my baby sister Emma's high school graduation weekend! She is the baby of the family, and 10 years separate  me and Emma. (For the math-challenged, she's 17 and I'm 27, but I'm still 17 in my heart, so maybe we are the same age!) I love my little Emmie Grace. We are so proud of her, as she is graduating with very high honors. I'm leaving work here in a bit to go pick up my grandmother and cousin so they can join us for the festivities in Huntington. 

Me and Emma Grace.
2. I am a little bit mad at Grace from Camp Patton because I'm not sleeping at night due to my undying need to read EVERY SINGLE POST on her blog. I recently discovered it, and it's taking up a lot of my sleeping time to make sure I have read every last word in her archives. I think she is hysterical, and it's really interesting for me to read because, although we are the same age, she is in middle America and I am on the east coast, she is married and I am not, and she has 2 little kids and I have none. Nevertheless I find her thoughts on daily life absolutely hilarious and I only wish to have a blog as witty as hers. (Just call me a creeper, she doesn't know me, but I feel like I know her.)

3. Speaking of blogs that are hilarious, make sure you check out Lawyer? I Hardly Know Her, written by my (legitimate and real life) friend Jenna. She also has a book coming out soon, and I have been given permission to throw her a book party! I love feeling like I've achieved something in my life because I know people who are achieving things in theirs! 

4.  I'm about halfway through my Couch to 5k program. I have to admit, I'm still doing a little better at the "couch" part than the "5k" part, but I'm giving it my best! I'm finishing up my 5th week, which means I only have 3 weeks left to go till I'm a... I don't know... REAL runner? I have to say that when I run I am so convinced that I look like this:


(Well a little less Asian, but you know what I mean.) Sadly, after I see myself in the mirror post-run (jog) I am more convinced I look something like this:


(Well maybe a little less manly. You know what, nevermind, JUST like this.) 

5. Speaking of my post-run look -- once after running I got in my car, turned the air on and drove 15 minutes to my parents' house. Upon entering, Emma (the same one I talked so nicely about in #1) said to me -- ANNA DID YOU GET A SUNBURN? No, no, thanks for your concern, but that's just how red I get when I exert myself jogging at a pace of 20 minutes a mile. Sigh.

6. I love TV and I love summer, but somehow I cannot seem to love both at the same time. TV in the summer is pretty unfortunate, let's be honest. Not that I watch a ton of TV, but sometimes you just need something on to wind down. With few notable exceptions, So You Think You Can Dance and Dance Moms are good examples, most is really questionable. Although some might consider my aforementioned examples questionable TV, I am talking about the TRULY questionable. A conversation between me and my friend Melissa the other day:

Anna: I'm about to watch a show called "Killer Kids." 
Melissa: Wow that makes me nervous. (Sidenote: her kids are 8 and 5... and very darling.)
Anna: Yeah me too. I'll tell you if I see any warning signs.
Melissa: Thanks! I appreciate the heads up.
Anna: No problem. The credits so far are not making me worry... Now it's currently Toronto, 1956 so we're good. 

Really? Not only am I watching this craptastic display of "television" but I'm drawing someone else in to TALKING about it with me? Gah.

7. I'm off to pick up Helen and Katie... hope everyone has a great, safe, sunny and warm Memorial Day weekend! 
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