Three Things.

Three things.

1. Do you want to hear one of the greatest mathematical mysteries known to mankind? Here it is: why one can hear a large amount of compliments and nice things about themselves and hear one really hurtful and awful thing and how that one hurtful thing outweighs all the nice things you've ever been told. Like I don't sit around thinking "You know, I think these people are right -- I am pretty smart and nice and thoughtful." But I will (now) spend hours thinking "Maybe I am not a team player and I have a bad attitude and am bad at my job." Like that one incredibly hurtful thing holds way more weight than anything nice anyone has ever said to me about myself. It's the eighth wonder of the world.

2. I honestly think that perhaps this world would be a much nicer place if people got more hugs. I really learned today (if I didn't already know before) that when you want to crawl in a hole and die and your body actually hurts because you've been hurt so badly by someone's words and you are seriously about .02 seconds from screaming and pulling your own hair out, that pain can be almost totally removed by a genuine hug from someone who loves you. Just standing there and  being hugged while you cry provides so much relief. I mean, you'll still be hurt, hugs aren't magic, but what they do is prevent you from taking that very scary step off the ledge. It's amazing the physical change you feel when you're hugged. I knew I needed a hug today and, through the providence of the Good Lord, I happened to see my dad, when usually I wouldn't on a Monday evening. I honestly don't know what these poor children do without a hug from a mom or a dad. Well, I guess I don't know what adults do without a hug from their mom or dad either. Maybe all these people who are angry all the time and do things that hurt other people really just need a hug. Just a long hug from someone who loves them. I feel like this is something Kid President may want to look into if he hasn't already.

3. I am almost 30 years old, and I have been watching The Sound of Music for almost 27 years. That's a much longer story than I'll write right now, but suffice it to say that, without fail, if I feel like crap or I'm hurt or whatever, watching The Sound of Music is such a comfort. It's like being wrapped up in your favorite blanket. I hope you have something like that too.

7QTF: Dinosaurs, Chipotle and an Old People's Cruise

Joining Jen for a very late in the day Seven Quick Takes Friday!

1. Real photographers may want to stop reading here because guys ... I discovered a new app! Discovered = read my friend Miranda (who is redesigning my blog ... eep!) uses it. I am OBSESSED. It's called A Beautiful Mess and it was 99 cents! Woot. I think it's my new obsession. One that I might be taking wayyyyyyyyyyy too far. Way. too. far. But maybe watch for my upcoming photography exhibit in your local Museum! :)

2. Speaking of obsessions ... I was on Netflix a few weeks ago looking to see if they had the show Bunheads. (RIP Bunheads ... I don't think you were given a fair shake.) They do not, however they did recommend that I may enjoy a show called Dance Academy. I quickly learned this was a show about a group of teens in the fictional National Academy of Dance in Sydney, Australia. Ballet? Australians? A show aimed at teens? I was SO THERE. And man, it did not disappoint. Happily, the dancing is LEGIT so I totally bought in. This show is so awesome. If you have Netflix and need something to get into ... Dance Academy. Watch one episode and come back and thank me!

3. I really like dinosaurs a lot and I also have a really elementary sense of humor. If you don't believe me take a gander at this photo:

I realized I had a T-Rex on my windowsill an also a Stegosaurus. This was the natural conclusion.

4. I thought the other day that I am no one's favorite person. My parents have more kids than just me, my grandparents have more grandkids than just me and I don't have a husband or kids. And that's sort of sad because it might be nice to be someone's most favorite person. But then I realized -- wait, Anna. I am Snicks the Bunny's favorite person! It might be because I am the only person he knows, but I'll take it!

5. CHIPOTLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chipotle. Comes. To. Huntington. It's open! I can barely stand myself. And if that is not enough good news for one lifetime ... I also heard they're putting in a Sheetz next door to the Chipotle. When did Huntington become Heaven?

6. People my age would probably dream of a tropical vacation in the Bahamas or a fancy trip to Paris, and, yeah, those things sound awesome! But my dream vacation of the moment? The Turner Classic Movies cruise! Dude. Me, a ton of people over 60, old movies and the people who starred in them. (And I don't even like old people.) Dream vacation! I'm ready to board the boat. Any takers?

7. My church, like many Catholic churches, has a fish dinner every Friday during Lent. They are awesome, but that's not what this is about. What this is about is that the Catholic elementary school attached to my parish has the kids draw place mats for the dinner. Please look at the one on my table tonight:

There are no words for how awesome this is. I'm dying to meet this genius.

Go see Jen for more takes!

You Know What Makes No Sense? I'll Tell You.

Something I've been thinking about a lot lately and have talked with my sister Erin about is people and change.

I feel like, as a society, we're always wanting other people to change. Maybe not change exactly, but improve. For instance -- quit being so sensitive, quit being so negative, quit getting angry so quickly.

All great and wonderful things to wish for others, right? Right.

... except when we don't allow them to change.

Erin might have spent the past five years really changing for the better -- a more mild temperament, more optimism, more laid-back.

But when Erin gets angry about something ONE TIME (most likely with great reason) it's "Ugh, Erin, why are you so angry all the time? I remember when you used to have tantrums ALL THE TIME." Um, you mean literally 20 years ago when she was 7?

You know what I mean? Think about it ... Us Weekly will be writing a story on Reese Witherspoon's new movie, but for the rest of time as we know it the story will always end "remember that time Reese Witherspoon got pulled over with her husband for drunk driving?"

So we think drunk driving is wrong, we think that should never happen again, neither Reese nor her husband have had a second incident, but we are never EVER going to let her forget it.

Amanda Bynes. Man, we all hope she gets better right? But I can practically guarantee when Amanda (God willing) stars in a movie or new TV show in 2024, we'll be like "Amanda Bynes ... who suffered a mental breakdown 10 years ago ... has a new movie coming out!"

Guys. Really? Do you see what I'm saying?

Trying to change yourself for the better, whatever it is you're working on, is HARD. Whether you're trying to become more laid-back or more hopeful or less easily annoyed -- it's hard. What makes it so much stinkin' harder is when people want you to change and then won't let you.

I can understand that if you've known someone for years and they've always been one way, it's hard to see them a different way. But if someone you love is making a conscious effort to improve him or herself, please PLEASE let them. If your formerly super-sensitive or easily-annoyed cousin is trying to change, and you always wished they would, then maybe stop reminding them how super-sensitive and easily-annoyed you always thought they were.

Because doing anything else is not helpful and actually just makes no sense at all.

Just think about it. Because nobody likes to be reminded of their downfalls or shortcomings. We need to stop being a society that wants people to improve and simultaneously refuses to let them.

I've Never Been a Great Runner

"Let us run with endurance the race God has set before us ... " - Hebrews 12:1

This has always been one of my favorite Bible verses. I always thought the "run with endurance" part was the most important part of that verse, but I realized that that's not true. The most important part of that verse is "... has set before us."

Let me explain.

This would be a totally different verse if St. Paul had said "... has set before the world" or "... has set before all of us together." But he didn't. He said "has set before US." Meaning, if he was talking to you one-on-one he'd say "Run with endurance the race God has set before YOU."

And therein lies the lightbulb moment.

I mentioned yesterday that this life is not the life I thought I'd have at 30 if you'd have asked me 10 years ago. I'm not exactly sure what I thought 30 would look like, but it's a pretty safe bet I thought my life would look pretty similar to Amy's -- stay-at-home mom, three kids (two adopted), volunteers, does projects with her kids, gardens. But my life looks so far from that it couldn't be any farther. And sometimes that makes me very sad, and, like I said yesterday, there is grief associated with that. But then I realized that that life is Amy's race. And this life is Anna's. Amy is running the race that God set before her, and I need to run the race that God set before me. Even if I don't understand it. Even if Amy's race looks so lovely to me, I know it involves more big mountains than I could possibly be aware of, just like mine involves mountains too. And even if her life - or anyone's life - was perfect, it still is not the race God set before me.

I think one of the very hardest parts of life is running our own race and not comparing our lives to others. I will be the first person to admit I am so guilty of that. I read a quote recently that said if we put all our problems in a pile with everyone else's, we'd probably look at all of them and grab our own back.

Right now Anna's race is looking pretty tough. I've known for a while that this semester was going to be tough tough tough. Along with work and the dance studio, I am taking a Media Law and Ethics class that requires a lot (A LOT) of writing and - the big one - my comprehensive exam that determines if I'll get my Master's Degree or not is scheduled for April 26. My life right now involves going to work, going to dance, going to school, doing homework and studying. And that is pretty much it. And, as I'm sure you can imagine, the WORRY I have about this exam can be overwhelming.

But I keep reminding myself that this is the race God has set before me, and I'm called to run it with endurance. Not walk it with whining or shuffle it with complaining. Right?


This post is the second in a series on Turning 30. To see the first post, click here. 

Thirty and Flirty and Thriv-- Nope, Just Thirty.

After I posted about the Listography book two days ago, it occurred to me that it might be fun to do a series of posts on Turning 30.

My birthday is July 19 and, yes, I'll be 30. Age has never really been a big thing for me; if people ask me how old I am I'm glad to tell them. As my dad says "it's better than the alternative." True. I mean ... the reality is I'm 29 and I'll be 30 in July.

The thing is, however, that turning 30 is a big deal even if I don't have a "problem" with it. It seems that with those two numbers in that order comes the absolute fact that I'm not a kid anymore or even a "young adult." Seriously, these surveys cut you off at being young after 29. Sheesh! If you would have asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be when I was 30, the life I'm living now looks absolutely nothing like that picture would. Not. at. all. And with that comes a little bit of grief I think. There might always be some grieving for the life you thought you'd have, but the important thing is not to grieve eternally, but to realize what is awesome about the life you do have. And I have a lot of things about which to feel awesome.

Jennifer Garner made it look so easy.
(via)

No matter what age you are, you always have the thought of "If I'd known then what I know now ..." If you're 18 you want to talk to your freshman year in high school self, your 21-year-old self wants to talk to your 18-year-old self, 25 would love to talk to 21 and 29 to 25. It's just a universal truth it seems. But what is also universal is that if you'd have known then what you know now, you probably wouldn't have listened to yourself. Older generations always want to tell younger generations about their mistakes and what they think they should do, but no one ever listens.

But what if we did listen?

I happened to catch a blog post tonight on Facebook that cemented my idea about doing a series of posts on Turning 30. It's called "10 Life Lessons to Excel in your 30s." Pretty straightforward and has my name allllll over it. The author asked previously on his blog for his readers 37 and older to email him with the advice they'd give their 30-year-old selves. He says he received over 600 responses, but was floored with how consistent the themes of the advice were. So similar, in fact, that he was able to take those 600 responses and turn them into 10 pieces of advice. Pretty amazing and sounds like something that's probably worth taking another look at. (I know, I know, don't end a sentence with a preposition, but this one baffled me. "... sounds like something at which it's probably worth taking another look" just sounds pompous and lame.) 

They are all really good pieces of advice, but my favorite is perhaps number 6:

6. Don't be afraid of taking risks. You can still change. 

Multiple readers related making major career changes in their 30s and being better off for doing so. One left a lucrative job as a military engineer to become a teacher. Twenty years later, he called it one of the best decisions of his life. 

“While by age 30 most feel they should have their career dialed in, it is never too late to reset. The individuals that I have seen with the biggest regrets during this decade are those that stay in something that they know is not right. It is such an easy decade to have the days turn to weeks to years, only to wake up at 40 with a mid-life crisis for not taking action on a problem they were aware of 10 years prior but failed to act.”

I've said this on my blog before, and I actually said it to someone again today -- I'm scared of a lot of things and definitely anxious about change. But the only thing that scares me more is the thought that I'll wake up when I'm 40 and wish I had done something I hadn't.

Even if you're not turning 30, I think that is still good advice for everyone -- you can still change.


This post is the first in a series on Turning 30. To read some previous posts that also go along with this topic, visit here, here and here. Look for upcoming posts in the series. 

All I Hope To Do In Lists

I love making lists. Lists of things to get done on a certain day, lists of things to get done at work, lists of things to get at the store, lists of things to do on a weekend. I love seeing all my thoughts organized and then being able to cross things off one by one, getting things done.

Which is why when I saw this book at Target last weekend, I knew I had to get it --

All I hope to do in lists? Count me in!

All joking aside, this book is super cool. It's 160 pages of lists prompts for you to fill in. There are all sorts of categories:

Some of my favorites: what you hope people will say about you at your funeral, appealing qualities you'd like to cultivate in yourself, unique sites to visit, qualities you hope to have as a parent or Godparent.

Fun, right?

I've never been a person who can journal. (Um, I guess blogs are sort of journals aren't they?) But you know what I mean -- looking at pages and pages of blank paper just waiting for me to write about my day? That sounds exhausting and something I've never been able to do. That's why I love this book so much. It's like keeping a journal of your thoughts, hopes and feelings but organized under categories. Also, there are so many lines and pages you could keep adding things for years, reading and looking back at how your life has changed since you started.

Also, I think it gives me things to think about, things I might never have thought about making goals for before like causes I want to volunteer for or some things to be less lazy about.

I do believe that self-awareness is an underrated quality (if you know me in person, you've probably heard me talk about this more than once!) and making lists of things, silly as it may seem, I think is really helping me become more self-aware. I'm becoming more self-aware about things that are important to me, which is great as I'll be turning 30 in just a few months and am really looking toward the future and making some big changes. I'm excited to think about things like habits to develop for my health, mistakes I don't want to make again in the future, good deeds I long to perform, habits to break and, the big one, things I want to accomplish.

And all my thoughts will be here in one place in this handy book. :)

You Know What's Nice to Have? Family.

For many years of my life I lived far away from my family: four years at college about 5.5 hours away, 1 year in Prague (self-explanatory hours away) and then about 2.5 years in Washington, D.C., about 7 hours away. Now that I've been living back near my family for the past several years, I can honestly say ...

... there is something to be said for living near people who love you.

Like clearly we need to live near - some might suggest with - our families as children. But seriously as an adult, it's still a great place to be.

Case in point -- My Mom doesn't work on Wednesdays. So yesterday I asked her if she'd mind meeting me at Walmart before my work so I could drop my car off for an oil change, then drive me to work, then pick me back up at work at noon and drive me back to retrieve my car. This is about the third or fourth time we've done this little arrangement. She agreed to help me out and we agreed we'd meet at Walmart at 7:30 a.m. so I could be at work by 8. 

So when I roll into the Walmart at 7:30 a.m. I find out that sometime between my last oil change and this one, Walmart changed their auto hours and they don't open till 9. Seriously? So my mom rolls in about a minute later and drives up next to me and I roll my window down like, ummmmm ... so .... they don't actually open till 9.

How did my mom respond?

"That's okay! I need to get groceries anyways and now I'll get in there before there's anyone else there!" said the lady who I just made meet me somewhere at 7:30 a.m. on her day off for absolutely no reason at all.

Only people who (are obligated to) love you will do that.

OH ... I also texted her after I got to work and asked her if she'd get me a box of those instant coffee packs, the cheap ones, you know, Taster's Choice or something. She got me THREE BOXES and one of them was a name-brand! What?!

Oh, she also WENT BACK to Walmart at noon, picked me up after I dropped my car off, took me to lunch, took me back to work, picked me up at work at 4 and drove me back to get my car. Yep. Kathy spent her day off chauffeuring me from Walmart to work to work to Walmart. Pretty much the only other person who might do this for me in the world is my dad, also someone who loves me.

Speaking of my dad, when my washer broke/I got a flat tire/I got another flat tire/my car needed inspected/I might want a ceiling fan/etc. guess who helped me with all that stuff? ("Helped me" = did all the work.)

If I need someone to feed Baby S when I'm out of town, if I need to use a printer, if I need a stamp, if I want to brag about a good grade I got, if I want to see a movie -- you know who will do/allow/give/listen/go with me (and buy popcorn)? The Lafferres. Like guys, ain't no one gonna do stuff to help you out like your family will do stuff to help you out.

I'm just saying ... it's really nice to live near people who you know you can call on when you need some help and they'll be right there. Turns out families are pretty legit. :)

Oh, look for a future post on my brothers and sisters, also known as the people who designed my dance website for free/dropped everything to drive to my apartment to "help me" (see above definition) find and kill a mortally injured house mouse/let me sit in the front seat in the car so I don't barf.