Words Hurt, Man -- The Sequel

Monday, November 23, 2015

So, after what happened to me at the last place I got my nails done, I decided to try this other place my friend Sarah suggested that is also close to where I live.

I arrived a little after 10 a.m. Saturday, after having taken a yoga class. There was no one in there when I arrived except for a lady, a man, and the cutest little girl, whom I found out later was their 3-year-old daughter.

The salon was nice, clean, and welcoming, and the lady started soaking my old polish off. When it was time to apply my new polish, the guy took over. He asked me what I did, and I told him I was a teacher, and he said how nice that was. Now, whereas I am perfectly content to sit there in silence, apparently some people are not, and you will never guess what happened next.

"So, do you have a fiance or a boyfriend?"

PLEASE IMAGINE THE LOOK ON MY FACE AT THIS TIME?! Like are there NO nail salons in Huntington where the (to date, always male) nail tech will not ask this?!

So, because I am not a liar I reply, "No, I don't."

And he said, "Oh, okay, not ready?"

To which I reply by looking up at the TV on the wall where Bob Ross is painting and thinking to myself that I am soon going to have to leave the dang city to get my nails done.

He goes on to talk about something else, I'm not even sure what to be honest, and then he says, "When do you think you will be ready get a boyfriend?"

At this time I realize I have a few options: 1. Say something incredibly rude and/or sarcastic, 2. Blow him off with some sort of nothing answer, or 3. Use this time to educate him in the hopes he will not talk to another person like this in the future.

As much as I wanted to go with 1, I went with 3. So I said, "I'm not saying I'm not ready now. I'm saying that it's not really up to me. I assume it will happen in whatever time God has planned for me."

He started to say something here, but I wasn't done.

"... and, you know what? The thing is, maybe it will never happen. And why should that be my goal anyway? I have a job I love, a nice family, and great friends. I have a very nice life, and this is not some sort of problem I have."

He says, "That is awesome."

So, I'm really glad I stood up for myself this time. The only thing I wish I would have added was this:

"And since I'm telling you all this, sir, I want to advise you to perhaps reconsider what you plan to say to your lovely daughter when she gets older. Perhaps talk to her about her interests, her personality, and her career goals, and not push her into thinking that life is some big marriage waiting room and if she doesn't marry she's somehow failed at something."

And this guy is not the only person I've ever met who needs to hear this. People of the world -- just stop. STOP. Stop asking single people you know why they're not dating anyone/when they will be dating anyone/how sad it is they're not dating anyone. Why should we spend our days acting like our lives are some sort of dress rehearsal for the real thing? Because, intended or not, that is EXACTLY what you are saying.

Perhaps I'm not dating anyone because God's plan for me is to educate all the nail techs in the greater Huntington area how to appropriately make conversation with people. And clearly that's going to take a while. :)

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